Searching for My Sidekick, and finding him

Searching for My Sidekick: I wrote that essay three years ago, as I remembered my childhood friend Wilfredo on his October 12 birthday.  I’d recently learned that he had died, and I had an unsettled feeling, wondering about the circumstances of his death at age 34.

Reuniting with Wilfredo at Lincoln Center in 1980
Reuniting with Wilfredo at Lincoln Center in 1980

Many friends and readers responded to my essay, so I have to share this update. This past year I found Wilfredo’s sister, Jeannine. She is ten years younger than Wilfredo and I; she is an educator and a mom. She filled in a lot of missing pieces, about what a great brother Wilfredo was to her, about his career, his partner, his humor, his life in the Village, his battle with AIDS. We’ve shared stories and photographs.

I felt a sense of both sadness and peace, knowing how Wilfredo was loved, cherished, held by his family. Jeannine is now a friend and I’ve had the chance to talk on the phone to her and to their mother—the woman who pierced my ears in her Bronx kitchen so long ago! Oh, and Wilfredo has a handsome young basketball-playing nephew–named Will.

keith-haring-heart

You can read my original essay published at she.com, Searching for My Sidekick, here.

Happy birthday, Wilfredo.

2 thoughts on “Searching for My Sidekick, and finding him

  1. Thank you, Mary, for being such a wonderful friend to my brother & cherishing the friendship you shared. May he live long in our memories & our hearts. Remembering him on his birthday & every day since his passing.

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