Searching for My Sidekick: I wrote that essay three years ago, as I remembered my childhood friend Wilfredo on his October 12 birthday. I’d recently learned that he had died, and I had an unsettled feeling, wondering about the circumstances of his death at age 34.
Many friends and readers responded to my essay, so I have to share this update. This past year I found Wilfredo’s sister, Jeannine. She is ten years younger than Wilfredo and I; she is an educator and a mom. She filled in a lot of missing pieces, about what a great brother Wilfredo was to her, about his career, his partner, his humor, his life in the Village, his battle with AIDS. We’ve shared stories and photographs.
I felt a sense of both sadness and peace, knowing how Wilfredo was loved, cherished, held by his family. Jeannine is now a friend and I’ve had the chance to talk on the phone to her and to their mother—the woman who pierced my ears in her Bronx kitchen so long ago! Oh, and Wilfredo has a handsome young basketball-playing nephew–named Will.
You can read my original essay published at she.com, Searching for My Sidekick, here.
The mission of the OpEd Project is to “increase the range of voices and quality of ideas we hear in the world. A starting goal is to increase the number of women thought leaders in key commentary forums to a tipping point. We envision a world where the best ideas – regardless of where they come from – will have a chance to be heard, and to shape society and the world.”
The seminar was geared not only to women, but to other voices that are under-represented in the public discourse, in places like the op-ed pages of newspapers, on radio and television commentary, and more.
We grappled with the question, what makes an expert? We were challenged to think about ourselves as “experts” in our respective fields (including higher education, children’s literature, immigration policy, legal protections for whistleblowers, faith-based initiatives, and medicine).
We learned so much through small group work, lots of interaction, and dynamic presentations by Becca Foresman, Chloe Angyal, and Macarena Hernandez. Resources on writing and submitting op-ed pieces were shared, and we came away inspired and empowered.
As one of our leaders shared, “If you say things of consequence, there may be consequences. The alternative is to be inconsequential.”
Those are words LGBT advocate Cyd Zeigler and his husband exchange each day. Part affirmation and part words of gratitude, Zeigler’s words electrified the audience of student-athletes, coaches, advocates, and educators. We had gathered in Hyannis, MA for a summit to discuss the intersection of student athletes, LGBTQ diversity, and anti-bullying.
Zeigler had returned to his native Cape Cod to share his own story: teased for being gay years before he came to the realization himself, Zeigler didn’t come out until well after his high school years. A lifelong athlete, Zeigler recognized after he came out that there wasn’t much overlap between the realm of sports fans/athletes and the gay community. He set out to do something about it by co-founding OutSports.com. You can read more about OutSports here.
Student-athlete Braeden Lange also presented. Imagine a thirteen-year-old boy holding a conference room in thrall with his positive message and poised responses to questions. A lacrosse player, Braeden spoke about coming out as a sixth grader, how ostracized he felt, and how connecting to Andrew Goldstein, a well-known gay lacrosse athlete who is out, saved his life and gave him hope. Braeden shared that those connections are what keep young LGBTQ students from feelings of despair and isolation. This is one of the goals of the short documentary about him and Andrew, The Courage Game, that was shown at the conference. You can view the ESPN feature here. (13 min.) It’s amazing!
Zeigler also emphasized the power of connection and coming out: he often hears from athletes who are deeply fearful of being ridiculed and ostracized by their teams. Often it is the opposite that happens, Zeigler recounted: athletes feel the support of teammates and coaches, and the liberation of no longer harboring a secret.
As Braeden said, “living your truth…you don’t have to have that weight on your shoulders.”
State Representative Sarah Peake spoke about her own coming out process, her memories of being a student-athlete, and her appreciation for the positive messages of Zeigler and young Braeden.
Jonathan Peters, a senior at Sturgis Charter School who spearheaded the event, closed with words of gratitude and inspiration. He thanked Cyd Zeigler and Braeden for traveling to the Cape for the event that attracted participants from as far as Rhode Island. He spoke about his own process, saying that rather than using the term “coming out,” he prefers, “invite the world in.”
That’s exactly what happened in that conference room. The world was invited in. Student athletes, advocates, principals, coaches, educators, and allies came together. The power of connection was affirmed. And everyone left that room feeling a little braver, more connected, and optimistic about the intersection of LGBTQ diversity and sports.
After a summer off from blog writing and teaching, I have that fresh and exciting September feeling!
A few insights from my summer travels in Ireland:
The bookstores of Ireland were a feast, both the independent ones as well as the chains. There was a wide variety of titles from Irish authors as well as authors from the States and other countries.
I also loved seeing familiar titles in Irish. Kids in Ireland study the Irish language all the way through secondary school, so the language is alive and well.
I had tea with Irish author Sarah Moore Fitzgerald, author of two books I love: The Apple Tart of Hope (which I reviewed here) and Back to Blackbrick (with her third book coming soon). We had an energetic conversation about the book business in Ireland and the U.S., her books, time travel, and more.
I was intrigued to find that the U.S. classic by Mildred D. Taylor, Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry, is an oft-used book in classrooms and in the leaving cert. exam in Ireland. It was in every bookstore I visited! I even found a dog-eared copy on my nephew’s bookshelf in Galway. I am amazed and delighted that such an iconic American book is so widely read by students in Ireland!
Ireland continues to delight and surprise in terms of its political climate and LGBT rights. If you haven’t seen the Noble Call speech on homophobia by “accidental activist” and drag queen Panti Bliss (aka Rory O’Neill), you’re in for a treat. I had the chance to visit Panti Bar, iconic LGBT hotspot and gathering place in Dublin. So much fun!
I also had wonderful conversations with a gay teacher and others about how much has changed in Ireland over the last decade (including last year’s successful landmark marriage referendum).
My trip to Ireland was food for the soul and the mind. I spent time with family, with my sister, cousins, and more. I made new friends, immersed myself in the book scene, and brushed away a tear as I promised myself I’d return–soon!
Getting an invitation to talk about children’s books and summer? No way I’d turn that down!
I had the chance to join host Mindy Todd and Falmouth librarian Jill Erickson at WCAI-FM (Cape and Islands NPR station) recently, and we talked about so. many. books!
The topic was kids and summer reading.
**the importance of letting kids make their own choices in the summer, to read exactly what they want to read
**the library is a parent and child’s best friend… a no-cost, community-oriented way to grow a reader
**taking on the Reading Without Walls Challenge is a great way to add some spice and excitement to your summer reading, either for a kid or an adult! The Reading Without Walls Challenge is brought to us by Gene Luen Yang, the National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature.
Here is a list of books I mentioned on the program:
Summer Reading Recommendations for WCAI- The Point
SURF’S UP by Kwame Alexander
FRED STAYS WITH ME by Nancy Coffelt… divorce/separation story
LAST STOP ON MARKET STREET by Matt de la Peña
WHEN GREEN BECOMES TOMATOES (Poems for All Seasons) by Julie Fogliano
Deborah Ruddell’s TODAY AT THE BLUEBIRD CAFÉ (bird poem, including the cardinal poem I read)
THIS DAY IN JUNE by Gayle Pitman (Gay Pride)
POEM RUNS by Douglas Florian (baseball poems, including the first base poem I read)
Middle Grade book (for ages 8 to about 12)
DRAMA by Raina Telgemeier… (graphic novel, theater kids)
Donna Gephardt’s LILY AND DUNKIN…transgender character, “outsiders”
Varian Johnson’s THE GREAT GREENE HEIST… main character is Jackson Greene (a smooth operator), a middle school caper reminiscent of Oceans 11. Sequel is TO CATCH A CHEAT. Varian visited Falmouth library and schools this past fall.
PAX by Sara Pennypacker… an animal story… a boy main character…. local author.
DISTANCE TO HOME by Jenn Barnes… baseball, girl athlete main character, will appeal to fans of Cape Cod Baseball League
Kekla Magoon’s CAMO GIRL…. a story about popularity, loyalty, friendship, middle school
Lynda Mullaly Hunt’s FISH IN A TREE… a girl battles with reading difficulties, adopting a trouble-making personality as a smoke screen, until a teacher makes a difference
ONE CRAZY SUMMER by Rita Williams-Garcia…Three African American sisters go to visit the mother who left them, in 1968 Oakland, California….the first book in a trilogy.
Young Adult– teen books
Ellen Wittlinger’s LOCAL GIRL SWEPT AWAY… a juicy Provincetown story… a story of four friends, one of whom gets swept away in stormy weather…. a mystery unravels.
K. A. Barson’s CHARLOTTE CUTS IT OUT… two girls who are juniors in a cosmetology arts program enter a competition, and Charlotte makes a bet with her mother that she’ll win…her mom wants her to give up cosmetology for college.
SIMON VS. THE HOMOSAPIENS AGENDA by Becky Albertalli… Simon struggles to come out to himself and his wonderfully quirky family, approaches a new romance and unravels the mystery behind some secret messages.
There are some other books that I was prepared to talk about on The Point, but we ran out of time!
A few more picture books:
SLICKETY QUICK: POEMS ABOUT SHARKS by Skila Brown
DRUM GIRL DREAMS by Margarita Engle…the main character is told that girls cannot be drummers…but she dreams and practices and becomes a star drummer in this colorful picture book set in Cuba.
More middle grade titles:
RAYMIE NIGHTINGALE by Kate DiCamillo…a friendship story set in the South… three girls, baton twirling and pageants, and more
GOODBYE STRANGER by Rebecca Stead… perfect for parent and kid to read together; captures the complexity of middle school so well
Mike Jung’s UNIDENTIFIED SUBURBAN OBJECT…Chloe Cho, a Korean-American 7th grader, wants to get in touch with her family history…they are the only Asian family in town… funny, touching, great twist!
Laura Shovan’s THE LAST FIFTH GRADE OF EMERSON ELEMENTARY… 18 kids try to rescue their school from the wrecking ball… a novel in verse.
Kate Messner’s THE SEVENTH WISH… 12-year-old Charlie catches a magical wishing fish and tries to use her wishes to solve some challenges, but her wishes go awry. Charlie is an Irish step dancer and wishes for a new dress for competition. On a more serious note, she longs for a solution when it’s discovered that her older sister has become addicted to heroin; Charlie grapples with the limits of magical thinking. This subplot is handled sensitively and may resonate with a lot of middle grade readers.
One more YA novel…
Sona Charaipotra’s SHINY PRETTY THINGS…Juicy ballet story, with three characters, it has been likened to “Black Swan meets Pretty Little Liars”…. it has a sequel, SHINY BROKEN PIECES. Diverse cast of characters and lots of drama for those who love ballet!
Thank you, Mindy Todd and WCAI-FM, for hosting this fun conversation about reading!
Watching a seasoned pro pull off a book launch with grace and hospitality is such a joy. That was the case yesterday in the beautiful Provincetown Library, when Ellen Wittlinger celebrated the publication of her latest YA novel, LOCAL GIRL SWEPT AWAY.
I’m a fan of Ellen’s writing, I love the Provincetown Library, and I look forward to the day when my own novel will be published, so I enjoyed this event on a lot of levels!
First, watching Ellen…she warmly greeted all guests as they entered the room. A bookseller from Provincetown Bookshop was in the back of the room with a stack of LOCAL GIRL SWEPT AWAY for sale.
Ellen chatted with guests informally before the presentation began in a very relaxed and genuine way. She showed how much she appreciated each person being there. It was also fun to see Ellen’s family members there, including her adorable granddaughter!
Ellen set up the novel well, explaining the inspiration for it (a long-ago event in Provincetown). She read Chapter 1 and a small bit from the middle of the book. They were the perfect excerpts to get the audience wanting to know more about this teen story set in Provincetown.
Ellen acknowledged the turnout (about 20 people), and said she was happy about that– she said she once had a reading where one person showed up! It was a reminder to me that even for a very seasoned and very published author, public readings can be a bit of a crap shoot. But this one had positive energy and a good number of people!
Finally, Ellen ended with questions, a cake, and signing her books.
Again she warmly expressed gratitude to people for attending. It was over in an hour and we all left, books in hand and big smiles on our faces, happy to support this amazing author!
Ellen will have a few other local readings where you can meet her, hear her read, and buy this juicy Provincetown mystery:
Reading at Truro Public Library, Standish Way, Truro, MA, July 1, 3 p.m.
Reading at Straw Dogs Writers Guild, The Basement, Center Street, Northampton, MA, July 5, 7 p.m.
Reading/signing at Porter Square Books, Cambridge, MA, August 5, 7 p.m.